When a commercial cookbook has a recipe for Gumbo, they are always timid with how much spice they tell you to use. They'll call for ridiculously small amounts, like a teaspoon of sassafras or a half teaspoon of Tabasco, because God forbid anyone complain that the Gumbo is too spicy.  But I like the taste of sassafras and Tabasco, so I pour that stuff in there.  And I think that is basically   approach to chords.  When you make your 13th or 9th or Sus chords, the distinguishing tone is right there on the top and bottom of the chord where you can taste it, not subtly folded into the middle.